Real To Me

Ok, so I was reading about Jacob a week or two ago, and I can't really get it out of my mind. I studied Genesis senior year of high school, and I realized some things. Well, this month, I've re-realized some things, so I thought I would share. If you want to know the Scriptural background to this, please read Genesis 32:22 until the end (it is the story of Jacob wrestling with God). [Katie and Chelsea, you've already heard this :)]

I absolutely love Jacob's audacity and his realness here. He knows God is leading him to Esau, and I'm sure he is terrified. I so relate to what I think Jacob is feeling. There have been times when i don't understand what is going on, and I don't like where God has me, and I don't like what He is doing. I remember one specific spring where I literally felt like I was wrestling with God over a lot of things. Its hard to follow God, and sometimes I just don't want to go where He is sending me! And God welcomes that! He wants us to wrestle  with him. He wants  us to talk things out. He wants to hear our anger, our fear, and our uncertainty. When we are honest with Him, He blesses us for that. To wrestle with God is to know Him, to realize, "I CAN trust You!" I don't believe that God expects blind obedience. He wants our trust, and while we won't always understand, God doesn't expect us to never question or never wonder or never get angry. He desires our honesty in those emotions. God wants our obedience, but He doesn't expect us to go along with what we think we should do, stuffing our feelings down and growing more and more bitter inside. In Revelation, it talks about God wanting to spit lukewarm Believers out of His mouth; He'd rather you be hot or cold. Usually people use this when talking about belief in Him, but I think it applies to our feelings as well. God wants our emotions. He created them!

This story is a perfect example of Jacob feeling and being honest with God and walking away changed because of it. And God makes Jacob the leader of God's chosen people here! When God changes Jacob's name is Israel, that makes him the head of God's people. To me, that is God saying, "You are honest with me, you are devoted to me, you are not content to just go along but you want to know and understand me." I think God loves it when we want to know Him, not just blindly follow what we think we should do.

So honesty really is the best policy. God wants our hearts, our genuine selves. And that is what I want to give Him.