Double Heart

I've had a lot of time to just hang out with the family, which has been wonderful. The last two days, I've been reading (my favorite pastime - I told Mama the other day that when my most difficult decision is which book to read first, my life is bliss) while my family watches football. I sit in a chair or on the couch with my book, the TV is on, the fam's gathered around (well, at least my parents), and I look up every now again to see the game or laugh at my parent's banter. It is been perfect. Mama apologized for being boring, but honestly, this is more wonderful than I can really describe. To just relax and do nothing except read and eat and joke and watch football...Its great. The other great thing is that Daddy is here! He's not off covering one of these ball games, so I get to watch him watch the game. It has been enlightening. :)

Amid all this wonderful relaxation, I've had lots of thinking time. I've been thinking a lot about God's will and what is means to follow Him and His faithfulness in my life and His conviction. Shocker, right? :) I know I've written about this over and over. I really am amazed at how the Lord has worked in my life this year. I guess what I've been experiencing most this week is His conviction, in the little things. Mostly with my attitude and my selfishness. I've felt that keen struggle to defeat myself and surrender to the attitude and perspective that I know God wants me to have. Its been good. I've failed most often, or else I have to take a minute, really fight, and then barely choose God's way. There's always a moment or two of failure in there. And then God deals with me in it as I'm changing my perspective. Really, I can't imagine a more loving Father than the Lord. I have a pretty great Daddy, but compared to God...I don't know. Its indescribable, really. That love, the combination of conviction and teaching and encouragement, well, I am so thankful for it.

Now I'm off to Atlanta for a few days! Then home, Rebecca's wedding, and back to school. This break is FLYING by!

It's The Most Wonderful Time Of The Year

Highlights from this year's Christmas season:

- Christmas parties and fun at school
- coming HOME!
- baking Christmas cookies with Mama
- singing in the Christmas Eve service
- looking out over the congregation lit up by candle light
- continuing our tradition of eating Christmas Eve dinner with our friends Kathy, Clark, and Madison
- Christmas morning gift giving; I got to hand out the presents this year, which was fun
- watching movies on Christmas day
- SNOW! My first white Christmas!
- Eating and eating and eating
- Singing at church on the 26th
- Helping Mama with her 2nd annual post-Christmas dinner with her "supper club" (really, its a bunch of friends who all take turns inviting each other over for dinner. They are funny. I was invited to attend for the first time - guess I'm growing up)

It was a wonderful Christmas season. And the holidays aren't over yet! Still have New Year's coming up. Not to mention all the time with family and friends until I go back to school. Its great to be home.

Do You Smell What I Smell?

Want to know what I've been doing? The past day and a half, Mama and I have been baking these...

Yes, my friends, I have been baking! It was Mama's idea; she got the house all beautifully decorated for Christmas, and we knew something was missing. Christmas cookies just add that special touch. So we got to work! Yesterday we baked and baked and baked and baked! I'm really pleased with the results.

Snowballs

Snowball coookies are some of my favorites. Mama likes them because they aren't too sweet, and I agree with her. The powdered sugar plus the pecans is light but delicious!

Craisin Oatmeal

Ok, so I make these oatmeal cookies all the time. They are really special to me, but the recipe I got from the top of a container of Quaker Old Fashioned Oatmeal! They are so good and addicting (plus, you don't feel bad about grabbing one for breakfast because after all, there's oatmeal in it!). To mix things up and make them more festive, Mama recommended I used craisins. I rarely use raisins in them (I don't really like raisins), but craisins sounded interesting, and I think they turned out really well!

Chocolate Fudge Cookies

(In my mind, Karen's cookies)

These cookies are basically all chocolate. I'd never made them before, so Mama had to help me. They took the longest, but they turned out good. Verry sweet. Very chocolatey. There are three kidns of chocolate in these cookies. Karen, you could die. Seriously. I'd ship them to you in Pennsylvania, but they wouldn't be fresh. Daddy and Grayson really like them (which is NOT a surprise), so that is all that matters!

Well, its been a fun day and a half baking cookies with Mama. Now we have to set about to the most difficult taks ever - eating them! I'm sure that will be hard to do! :)

Joy To The World!

One of the best parts of being home is that I get to go to my home church! I love my church. You know the saying about how it takes a village to raise a child? Well, the village that helped raise me is my church.

It was not only good to see dear friends who I haven't seen since early summer, but it was so good to hear a sermon from my pastor. Pastor Kallam is such a wise teacher, who somehow always manages to preach on something that I've struggled with or that is really applicable to my life. Today was no exception! He talked about hope and anticipation for Jesus. He preached on the response of the learned men in King Herod's court who easily told the king where the Messiah was to be born yet showed no excitement or curiosity versus the response of Simeon, who rejoiced and who had waited and waited and waited for Jesus' birth. It was interesting to be reminded of what it truly means to hope. n

I think that sense of anticipation is my favorite part of Christmas; even people who aren't Believers still have that excitement, that hope (and its because of Him, they just don't know it). I love that. I love feeling that sense of waiting eagerly, the joy and excitement. And my pastor challenged me today, because shouldn't I live with that hope and anticipation every day?

Simeon's hope defined his life. He built his life around waiting, anticipating, and hoping for the Savior. And Jesus has come, He is Emmanuel, God with us. And He is coming again! I want that to be the basis of my life. I want to build my life around that knowledge, that Jesus has come and He is coming back. In that, there is so much joy and faith and celebration and certainty and confidence. I want to live with that promise at the center of all I do.

Time In Between

I'm home! It is so good to be here with my family. Last night I got to see some friends, one of whom I hadn't seen in two years! That was so fun, to reconnect and get life updates and laugh about old memories. I've known my friend Marge since she visited my old school in fourth grade and then started attending in fifth grade. I met Liz and Ashley in 8th grade, and then Mary Grace when I was in 9th grade. A few members of our high school group of friends weren't able to come to our "Little Christmas" this year (we missed Claire, Catherine, and Caitlyn), but it was still so good to see Marge, Ash, MG, and Liz. 

It was fun to talk about co-op and the things we used to do and old teachers who we loved and old jokes that still make us laugh. Sometimes those days seem so long ago and far away, but then other times it feels like yesterday.

I loved getting to see those girls, and hopefully I will get to see at least a few of them again before I go back to school! And Liz and Marge are already planning to come visit me! Yay!

Emmanuel

I've been very struck by the meaning of Christmas this year. God has shown me different things about Christmas, things I knew but didn't realize.

Our God came to be with us. I don't realize the full meaning of the name Emmanuel - God with us. That is Who Jesus is. He is God here on earth with us! He didn't just watch us from Heaven, He didn't just love us from afar, God chose to come and save us. He walked with us, He taught us, He laughed and ate and sorrowed with us. He gave up Heaven and chose to dwell on this sinful earth to be with us! That is a love unlike any I've ever heard of.

Christmas is all about God being with us, God coming for us, to be with us and save us from our sin. I guess part of my does think of God as being in Heaven; yes, I have His spirit living inside me, but I won't be with Him till Heaven. Which is true. But I forget that He came to earth, He came to where I am, in order to save me. What other god has done that? What other god loves so truly and deeply and incomprehensibly? God is more than words, more than good thoughts and empty promises. God has done what He said He would do. He put His words to action, and He lived He love for us. He is Emmanuel, God with us!

Mercies New

I've been thinking about a lot of things this week. The past two days, I've been thinking a lot about God's love and grace.

I know what it is do things for people and for them to spit on your face. I hear complaints over things I've planned and worked on for days. I've given my all and been rejected. No gratitude, no polite responses,  not even a fake offer of thanks, nothing except grumbling, complaining, and the sense of entitlement.

Today I was complaining about that to Karen, when all of a sudden it hit me. That is what God hears all the time. He gets spit upon, He gets complaints and He gets mocked and He gets pride and selfishness and entitlement as a response to His sacrifice and love.

I think about Jesus sacrificing it all to come to earth as a little baby who can't even take care of itself. I think about Jesus being with His Father and choosing to give it all up for a bunch of people who complain and mock and reject Him. And He knew that is how we would respond! Yet He did it anyway!

In the face of that rejection, God still loves. He still forgives. He still looks at me and weeps over me and feels such great love for me that I cannot comprehend and He pursues me and He gives me so much grace. I am nothing like my Father; I am so far from Him that sometimes I wonder how He could want to forgive me, yet He still does. I don't understand it, I honestly don't. I cling to my sin, my false entitlement, my pride, my selfishness, my self-reliance, my independence. I hold onto it, and when God offers me His grace, I fling those things into His face. And now I have some small sense of how that feels, and it breaks my heart. God wants my heart, He wants my worship, He wants my love and thankfulness. And I have all that to give Him. I know what He has done for me, even if I can't grasp the full measure. I know His sacrifice, and yet I still spit on Him. How much worse is that than if I didn't know Him at all!

I'm so thankful that God has opened my eyes a little to this. I am so far from Him, so completely nothing. That He chooses to love me despite my nature, that He chooses to make me new, to patiently train my heart and mind to match His...my only response is awe, gratitude, and worship.

The Christmas Song (Merry Christmas To You)

And the Christmas season is in full swing!

After a busy week, I was very thankful when Friday arrived! My friend Emily and I adventured to Bald Rock and Caesar's Head for the afternoon, which was amazing! Looking out over the hills was beautiful. Breathtaking.

On Friday night, I went to Katie and Chelsea's room. We made dinner (this Asian salad - it was actually really good!), and then Katie convinced me to go ice skating with them! RUF, a campus ministry was sponsoring it, and I am so glad I went. There were so many great people there, and it was really fun! It was only my third or fourth time ice skating in my life, but I sort of got the hang of it. Katie graciously skated with me (after she lied to me and Chelsea, saying she wasn't good at skating. That was a lie. She is a beautiful ice skater!), as did Julie. A number of the RAs from my prayer group were there, so we skated a lap together. That was funny.

The Whole Group

Anyway, that was really fun. Saturday morning came way to early, as we had Open House (sort of a pre-rush example of what rush is like). That was fun. Exhausting, but fun. Afterwards, I went back to my room, got in bed, talked to my parents on the phone, and took a short nap. I woke up and was thinking about going back to sleep when I heard these footsteps racing down the hall and then pounding at my door. I get up, open the door in a daze with a mattress mark on my face. Its Mary Grace, Kristin, and Morgan. They start screaming/babbling about these extra tickets to the Biltmore. I was really confused and then finally I understood.

Our student activities board had a raffle for tickets to the Biltmore in Asheville. You could get a pair of tickets for $40, a steal, especially at Christmastime. Julie had won tickets, and she and Mary Grace were going to go together, but then they both got asked by other people. Morgan and I really wanted to go, but Mary Grace and Julie had sort of already given their tickets to someone else. Morgan and I talked about ways to set Morgan up with someone, etc. but it didn't work out. But then, Morgan got a phone call yesterday saying that two people had backed out, so there were two extra tickets! Morgan took one, and she said she knew someone else who wanted to go, and so I got the other ticket!

After getting ready in about 15 minutes, we headed to the buses! Morgan and I were on the bus with Julie and Cole and Mary Grace and Dave, so that was fun. We got to have dinner there - it was so good! We took pictures, joked around, told stories, and then it was finally time to go to the actual Biltmore!

Walking in this huge house that I had heard so much about from Daddy, who loves the Biltmore, was so cool! All the rooms, all the architecture, all the art, all the history that was in that house! So cool. I loved walking through all the rooms. The downstairs was cool, but I loved the second story and the basement the best. It was neat to walk through all the bedrooms. Actually, I found "my" bedroom at the Biltmore. It had this beautiful fireplace, and I loved the fabrics that were used. The basement was incredible! The bowling alley, the swimming pool! I really wish I could have visited the Biltmore when the Vanderbilt family still lived there and had water in the swimming pool. I loved looking at the kitchen and servant's quarters as well. It was so interesting!

Anyway, after we wandered through the house, we headed outside, where we got the professional picture we had taken in front of one of the Christmas trees. We purposefully tried to make it funny and awkward, and we succeeded. We weren't going to buy it, but it was too good to pass up, so we all chipped in. Then we got some hot drinks (I got caramel apple cider - yum!), and Morgan and I headed to the gift shop. Soon we just wandered around outside, tried to take pictures (although it was very dark and cold and rainy). Then we got back on the bus and watched Elf the whole way home! What a great night!  It was so spur of the moment, but it was so fun! I would love to go back to the Biltmore in the day (and when it was warmer) so I could see the gardens and things too.  Maybe we'll do a family trip sometime, right, Daddy? :)

Not a very good picture, but its the Biltmore!

Mary Grace, Julie, and I

Some of my pledge class!

Cameron, Mary Grace, Julie, me, and Katie S

With the lion statue

It was freezing, and this lion has no protection from the wind!

 Outdoor Christmas trees!

Emily took this picture. It shows the house and the tree better

O Come, O Come, Emmanuel!

O come, O come, Emmanuel

And Ransom captive Israel

That mourns in lonely exile here

Until the Son of God appears

Rejoice! Rejoice!

Emmanuel shall come to thee, O Israel

O come, Thou Day-spring, come and cheer

Our spirits by Thine advent here

Disperse the gloomy clouds of night

And death's dark shadows put to flight

Rejoice! Rejoice!

Emmanuel shall come to thee, O Israel

O come, o come, Desire of nations

Bind in one the hearts of all mankind

Bid our sad divisions cease

And be Thyself our king of peace

Rejoice! Rejoice!

Emmanuel shall come to thee, O Israel

Baby, Its Cold Outside!

Thanksgiving Break was wonderful. It was far too short but still wonderful!

I stopped in Birmingham on my way home. I unpacked my summer clothes and packed up my winter ones! Finally. It had been cold, and I had about three shirts that were warm enough. Thankfully, functions provided additional long sleeved shirts, so I added a few more over the semester. But anyway, it was a good thing I got my winter clothes because it is SUB ZERO here at school! Ok, that is a slight exaggeration, but it is really cold. As in, a possibility of snow, the weather station said. Yuck. Well, snow is good, but cold is yuck. And its raining. I like rain, its just recovering from the cold wetness that is a little difficult...Anyway, I stopped in Birmingham. I got to see Liz for the first time since May! That was so good. I hung around Samford with her for a little while, then we got dinner at Baha Burger (yum!). Then we headed to my house, watched a movie, and slept! It was nice to be in my own bed.

First thing Wednesday morning, we got up and hit the road! We left a little before 9, grabbed Chik-fil-a breakfast, and drove and drove and drove (with a quick stop to pick up a "Turkel," as I accidentally called it. I got a turkey in Greenville, AL, and when I called Mama to tell her I had picked it up, we were passing by Pine Apple, AL, which I love, so I had just said that town's name to Liz, and then on the phone it came out, "Well, Mama, I got us a Turkel!" It was funny. But maybe you had to be there...). Then I was home with the fam! So good to see them. And Wednesday night, Aunt Madeline, Uncle Ron, and my cousin Michael arrives! I hadn't seen Michael since 10th grade, and I hadn't seen Aunt Madeline and Uncle Ron since I graduated, so it was very good to see them. We went to a seafood place for dinner, I ate some shrimp (yum!), and then I baked some sweet potatoes to make sweet potato casserole, my favorite Thanksgiving dish!

On the morning of Thanksgiving, I got help, finished making the sweet potatoes, and tried to help Mama as best I could. My Uncle David, who I also hadn't seen in a VERY long time, came over, which was exciting! So it was a big family meal. We ate outside on the back porch where we could see the bay. Not the most traditional Thanksgiving setting, but it was fun! And what could be better than hearing birds call and waves and all those beach/bay sounds while eating an amazing Thanksgiving feast? Everything was soooo good - the sweet potatoes (if I do say so myself!), the corn soup (to die for), the dressing (yum!), the green beans (good job, Roeck!), I heard the Turkel was good (I don't eat meat very often, if you didn't know that about me), and of course the pie! It isn't Thanksgiving without the pie! After eating, we settled down to watch some football!

Friday was the Big Day. The Iron Bowl. Now, the Iron Bowl did not turn out as I had hoped, but I am pushing through and putting the past behind me. Roll Tide. But it was still a fun day, watching football. For breakfast, we went to this place in downtown Fairhope. It was delicious. Aunt Madeline and Uncle Ron and Michael left after breakfast, so then we just watched football all day. And then I hung out with Liz and some of her friends for a while, which was fun and amusing.

Then, of course, it was Saturday, which meant more football! I ran a few errands in the morning and then watched football literally all day long. Then that night I started freaking out a little about finals, sent a few emails, got a smidgen of work done (but not much since I purposefully didn't bring home school books. Bold move.). I went to bed, and then first thing Sunday morning, I hit the road back to school.

Of course, Sunday everyone and their mom was driving. Katie's dad decided it was because no one wanted to fly what with the new security stuff, which makes sense. There was a high number of cars around me the whole drive (basically, I never got to drive with the speed control on), but it didn't get bad till I was through Atlanta. Then it was stand still, stop and go, almost all the way to South Carolina. I almost turned around at one point to go back to Katie's, but I called my daddy, and he convinced me to keep going. So I did! Then I made it back to school, decorated my room for Christmas (pictures will be forthcoming), and saw Karen and some other friends!

Well, hark the herald! It was a great Thanksgiving break. Not that you wanted to know all those details, but who knows? Maybe someday I'll want to know all those details. Deck the halls!

Christmas Time Is Here

Ah! Katie said it, but I must repeat it: Christmas is here!!!!

Christmas music is playing on the radio. The air is growing colder. Thanksgiving has passed.

Today is traditionally the day my family decorates the house for Christmas, buys a Christmas tree (and when I was little we ALWAYS went and cut it down ourselves; now we do that if we have time), turns the Christmas music on in the stereo, etc. This year, things are a little different as we are preparing to move (yes, again), but still. I have my Christmas supplies in the car to decorate mine and Karen's room back at school. I'm SO excited.

I love Christmas. Someone was asking me the other day why I loved it, when its all about materialism and commercialism, etc. And I love Christmas because a) it celebrates the birth of Jesus, b) most people are in better moods, will smile at you on the street, won't make fun of you if you randomly burst into Christmas carols, etc. People anticipate, they are expecting something beautiful and magical and holy, and that is evident! and c) like my friend Alex said, everyone is celebrating Jesus' birth whether they know it or not! I know as well as the next person that Jesus probably wasn't born on December 25th, year 3 AD or something, but I do love Christmas carols, the Christmas Eve service (especially when everyone holds their lighted candle, the flames flickering on everyone's face), the beautiful lights, the decorations, the gift-giving(I LOVE getting gifts for people. I love the struggle of trying to pick the perfect gift for everyone), everything about Christmas I love! While the 4th of July is my favorite holiday, Christmas is a very close second! They could be tied, in fact.

I don't know. I just love Christmas. I'm sure I will post a lot about Christmas and what it means to me and what I think about it, so consider yourself warned. Tis the season!

Thank You

I think it is fitting that my 100th post (Really? 100 posts? That is RIDICULOUS!) should fall on Thanksgiving. I have so much to be thankful for - seriously, so so much. Far too much to list here, but I'm still going to list a few:

- I am with my family! I love my parents and my brothers so much. I can't even explain what it is to be home. I'm not super talkative or anything right now, I'm just drinking in the feeling of being home. I've walked in my mama's shadow all night, just wanting to be next to her, able to hug her or laugh with her. And my brothers are still the same goobers as always. I love them. And Daddy - sitting on the porch with him, just laying my head on his shoulder. It is so good to be HOME. AND Aunt Madeline, Uncle Ron, and my cousin Michael are here too, and my Uncle David will be joining us tomorrow! More to be thankful for.
- I got to see Liz for the first time since May! It was so good to see her face and actually be able to hug her! I am so thankful for our friendship, how it was withstood her moving senior year, both of us going to different colleges, spending these last almost 7 months without seeing each other once. Liz is such a giver, she pours so much into me and encourages me and reminds me that it is OK to be silly and to be myself. I love you and thank God for you every time I think of you, Liz!
- I have an amazing roommate. I love Karen so much. She encourages me, calls me out, listens to me without judging, laughs at my stupid jokes, puts up with a lot (more than can be mentioned, haha), and is one of the most amazing people I know. She always has time to listen, even when she has 15 tests the next day. And nothing is ever too petty for her time. I admire Karen so much.
- I have amazing friends! Katie, Olivia, Chelsea, Leila (yes, Leils, I know we haven't talked in forever; I'm working on that), Hilary, Laura, my Tri Delt pledge class, the upperclassmen I know who consider me their friend...They are amazing and Furman would not be so great without them. And my RA/prayer group friends. Julie, Stephen, James, Mary Grace, Robbie, Cole...I always look forward to spending time with them! So encouraging, so fun, so hilarious. I am so thankful for y'all.
- My Birmingham family/friends/MBCC. I don't see y'all as much as I used to, but I would not be who I am without them. They have shaped me, taught me, raised me, and poured into me in ways that stun me. Sometimes I sit back in awe, amazed at this amazing group of people God has placed in my life.
- My extended family. I miss them, I wish I got to see themmore, but they are always in my heart.
- My Hungarian friends! I miss them like nobody's business. Seriously. It makes my heart ache sometimes, but I am so thankful for them and I pray for them constantly. I can't wait to see them again!
- My country and freedoms. May I never forget the freedom and liberty I have, and may I never take it for granted. I am so thankful for the people who make it possible for me to have this life in this incredible country.
- I have always had a bed to sleep on, clothes to wear, food to eat. Thank You, Lord, that I have never known hunger or thirst or cold or heat. That is a blessing not everyone has, one that I take for granted and feel entitled to.
- Most importantly of all, my freedom in Christ. Jesus did not have to sacrifice it all to save me, but He did it anyways. My only value is in Him; without Him, I am literally nothing. Lord, I am so thankful for You, for Your love and grace and mercy. Thank You for what You have been teaching me this semester. I am so thankful for Your discipline, for Your conviction, and for Your truth.

The list is truly unending. I am blessed, with so much to be thankful for. I hope that I learn to live in thankfulness every day, not just today.

Better Life

And I had another great weekend!

Saturday was not only the last home football game but Tri Delta Semi-Formal! On Friday, Karen left for a wedding -  I missed her so much! But I am glad she got to spend time with her family and meet her new niece! Saturday came around, I slept in, went to the game, grabbed Starbucks with Katie, and then started getting ready for semi-formal!

I had asked my friend Stephen, and we went with a big group. It was funny, because there were six RAs in the group and two FRADs. We went to dinner at this great place called Brioso's - yum! Its one of my new favorite places here. (I know, last year you would've been shocked if I said we went somewhere other than Thaicoon! We're branching out this year.)

Semi-formal was at a local museum. It was such a great location! It was great for pictures and mingling and dancing. I loved it! We danced and took pictures and danced and talked and danced the whole night long! It was so fun. I couldn't have asked for a better group to go with.

Stephen and I

I love my Katie Kay!

Olivia, me, Hilary, Laura, and Katie

Luis, Katie, Stephen, me, Olivia, William, Laura, Cary, Hilary, and Alex!

Katie and I with the Lady

Luis is my RA Mentor :)

SoHo RA Prayer Group!

Stephen, me, Julie, Robbie, Mary Grace, James, and Cole

Refine Me

Faith is battle.

That sounds so strange, but its true. And the funny thing is that the battle brings joy.

I was talking with someone yesterday, and I started realizing again the struggle that I face between what is good and the sin that is my nature. So many things that I desire or speak for or fight for are good things, things of the Lord. But my motives so often get in the way and distort those good things.

I first saw this struggle in Hungary. There was one day when I was doing the right thing, but my heart was crying out in bitterness. It was the quandary of being right but my motives and heart being wrong. The Lord called me out on it then, and He did so yesterday.

It is such a struggle, such a difficult thing to wrap my mind around. My sin nature has distorted everything, yet the Lord's grace is sufficient! He is not content to let me rest in my sin, but He calls me out, He leads me to wrestle with Him, He challenges me to settle for nothing less than His will.
I am so acquainted with the feelings Jacob must have had when he wrestled with God. My Bible says, "So Jacob was left alone, and a man wrestled with him until daybreak. When the man saw that he could not overpower him, he touched the socket of Jacob's hip so that his hip was wrenched as he wrestled the man. Then the man said, 'Let me go, for it is daybreak.' But Jacob replied, 'I will not let you go unless you bless me'" (Genesis 32:22-26). I know I've written about this before, but I just love it! I so feel like Jacob, able to wrestle all night. My heart goes back and forth, justifying myself and then admitting my depravity, trying to reason my way out of it and then hearing the Spirit's reprimand. I've felt the Lord literally change me (my heart) in order to give me rest. And I feel like Jacob, saying, "I will not let You go until I know Your will." I'm not content to quit until I am changed, until I am satisfied, until I have peace.

Wrestling with my own nature versus what I know is right, seeking the nature of my motives, struggling to mold my heart to the Lord's - it is exhausting. But I am blessed when I do so. God guides me.

Tonight (after I had written the first part of this post), I found this guy's blog. You may have heard of him, his  name is Chad, and  he has a liver disease. A few months ago his younger brother Ryan donated part of his liver to Chad, ended up going into cardiac arrest, and dying. Chad survived, and he has a blog that I found (thanks to AOL news). Anyway, this one post I read talked about this same thing, faith and wrestling with God. I love what Chad writes. He describes the three ways people view faith and his third one is so so good. He writes, "Then there are those that somehow come crawling out of the ashes and the bedlam – their hair smoking, their clothes smoldering and their soul blistered. These are people who have prayed heartfelt prayers to a God they’ve clung to their entire life. Regardless, things didn’t turn out like they planned – not even close. They’ve got questions, but they’re not doubting. They’re hurt but they’re not damaged. They’re not cracked, but you better believe they are broken.They don’t turn their back on God, because in the deepest part of their humanness there is a settling that God is still the only lifeboat left on this fantasy cruise. Not set on understanding, but desperately depending on their only Real Hope." 

That is what wrestling with God looks like! I can come to Him questioning, hurt, broken, angry, confused, disappointed, whatever it is I am struggling with, I can search for answers, I can wrestle out my sin and go back and forth, and God welcomes that. He drives out my sin, bit by bit, tearing it out of my ever-grasping fists. I can feel Him prying open my hands finger by finger. And I feel Him smiling as He does it! It is hard for me, it does break me, but it leaves me with no where else to run but to He Who washes me, sanctifies me, justifies me in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ (1 Corinthians 6:11). God is dismantling my pride and sense of entitlement and selfishness and self-justification and independence and self-reliance. I know He is. And it isn't easy, but I am so thankful! I am so thankful that God is not content to leave me as I am without Him. I am so thankful that He says, "You are not enough and you can never be enough. But I have made you for MY glory, and I will mold you into who I intended you to be." Praise God for that!

I know I've written about this topic a lot these past few months. You'd think I would get these things the first time, but God is faithful and continues to sanctify me from my sin. I have to praise Him for that! His grace is sufficient for me and His power is made perfect in my weakness!

Keep wrestling.

Lookin' For A Good Time

I've had a whirlwind month, but this weekend, while still really busy, was wonderful!

Karen and I have had the most ridiculously crazy few weeks, and we had planned about two weeks ago that this Friday we would have a date to celebrate the end of them. I finished my biology test, met up with Karen, and we headed to the mall! I was desperate for jeans as the one pair I had now had a lovely hole near the back as of Friday morning. Karen wanted to look at jeans too, so we shopped in Belk, Gap, Macy's, and American Eagle. I found a pair in Belk, but when I went to Gap, I tried on this one pair and it was destiny. Ok, I'm kidding, but I found a great pair of jeans at Gap, and when I called Mama, she encouraged me to get two pairs (I did need them, and they are staples, and all that. Mama is very convincing, and she was right). It was nice to be successful in getting what I needed.

After shopping, I had a letter-writing party with Tri Delt to send letters to support St. Jude's. I was there for a little while, sent out my letters, and then headed to this worship thing my friend James set up. It was off campus in these woods behind a house that a campus ministry owns. It was so fun. There was a fire, James and Robbie led us in worship, and the whole group of people just sang and sang. I rode back to school with Katie, and we ended up driving around looking for a place to get coffee. It was unsuccessful, but it gave us time to catch up, which is what we really wanted anyway. :)

On Saturday, I had a retreat with this leadership group I am a part of. It lasted most of the day, and I ended up coming back and trying to take a nap. That didn't really work out, but no worries! I went with Katie, Chelsea, and Tori to Katie's grandmother's house for dinner! She made us (homemade) fried chicken, (homemade) mac and cheese, (homemade) green beans, (homemade) fried/baked zucchini, rolls, and (homemade) pound cake with strawberries and whipped cream. YUM!!!! It was so good. I had two servings because it was so so so good. It was nice to be in a house with grandparents eating HOMEMADE food. Yum. In the car on the way back to school, we were talking about how different it feels to be full because of good homemade food rather than okay mass-produced DH food or restaurant food. Namie will definitely be seeing a lot more of me over these next three years! So good. My mouth is watering just thinking about it.

Anyway, Saturday night after that, Hilary and I went to Yogurt Mountain and Barnes and Noble. So fun. Hilary had never been to Whole Foods, so we took a stroll through that store as well. It was funny to do that, because it reminded me of the first time I went to Whole Foods with some friends from co-op. I was gasping over everything, we ate all these samples (those good but weird green bean chips!), etc. Then Marge, Mary Grace (from home), and I started going to Whole Foods sometimes after school and buying a mini-tart for all of us and sharing one cup of gelato. It was fun to remember that while walking around with Hil. After that, Hilary and I headed back to school, rented a movie, and watched it in my room with Mary Grace (from school), Julie, Grace, and Karen.

Sunday morning, I got up, went to church with some friends (a church that I really liked and am probably going to go back to!), and then talked with Karen for a little bit. She's been sick. Then my friend Catherine and I worked on a surprise for one of our friends who is abroad. But the best is yet to come.

Sunday night was the Lady Antebellum concert!!!! Katie and I got tickets together, so we went to dinner at Atlanta Bread Company (I had the Garden Vegetable soup - yum!). Then we headed back to campus, parked, and found out seats. We were on the floor, in the twelfth row, near the middle. Oh my gosh, they were amazing seats, and the concert was so good! David Nail opened, and I was pleasantly surprised. But Lady Antebellum - wow. So so so stinking good. So good. Katie and I had so much fun.

Katie and I waiting for the concert to begin!

Lady Antebellum!!!!

Whoo!!!

Katie and I post-concert

And then when I dropped Katie off, our friend Kristin danced for us. That topped off a perfect weekend! Till next time...

Think

On Friday night, Katie and I were sitting in a chair together - you know, one of those chairs that is part of a living room set. We had a pillow in our laps, and I started wondering what it would be like for us to be conjoined twins who shared legs but had separate torsos. So I asked Katie. And we had two separate 20 minute long conversations about it. Would I be able to feel someone tapping on Katie's far shoulder? Would we feel the weight of both legs or only one? How would that affect our balance? Would it be legal for us to get married? I think Katie is the only person I know with whom I could actually carry on a serious conversation about this with. My other friends and I would just laugh about it, but Katie and I had a legitimate conversation about it! I loved it. And then we cracked up over the fact that we had just had that conversation (and then we laughed that we had it not once, but twice).

This next part fit with that story in my mind, but in actuality I don't think it really does. Oh well!

I'm sitting in the library with Karen studying Biology (evolution, to be exact. Blegh.), and I'm falling asleep. I would love to take a nap in my nice warm room in my nice warm bed (they turned on the heat in the dorms! Yay!). But that is a long walk for a 20+ minute nap, and then I'd have to turn around and come back to the lib anyway. So I stared thinking. I looked up at Kare and said, "Wouldn't it be great if the library had a nap room?" Karen just rolled her eyes and laughed at me. I laughed out loud, but in my mind I started pondering how that could happen. Then I realized that there could be a lot of problems with that. But it would be nice!

All right, back to work. Have a great Sunday!

Never Alone

The Lord has definitely followed up on the things He's been teaching me that I shared last week. I feel like He has shown me what it means to rely on Him. He had to draw me out of my comfort zones in order for me to realize that the Lord is my shelter, my restoration, my strength. But He isn't leaving me alone.

I was challenged Monday night by two friends to reevaluate my time. This is something I've felt the Lord leading me in as well. When I was talking over my schedule, Emily wrote it down. Seeing it on paper - not in my planner, but on plain white paper - and realizing that that was only one part of my schedule was shocking to me. Julie called me out and told me that living like that wasn't living an abundant life. I've been tied down in my schedule. And I do feel like the Lord lead me to that place where I could only rely on Him, but now He is showing me that I do need to have friends. I don't have time to be continuing my relationships at this point, I don't have time to just hang out. And God reminded me through my mama that He did not create people to be alone! So now I'm reevaluating my schedule. I'm going to cut some things out. I am here first as a student, then as a friend, then as a RA, and so on and so forth. I need to recognize my priorities, and even if that means cutting things that are good out of my life, so be it.

So at this point in my life, I'm at a place where the Lord is saying, "Yes, rely on ME first. But I did not intend for you to be alone!" So I'm going to remember that. It will take work - let's face it, overcommitment has long been a problem of mine - but I'm confident.

Ok, I'm hoping my next post will be a much lighter and happier one. Not that I'm not thankful for what I've been going through. But I feel its time for me to have some fun! So yeah. Till then!

The Solid Rock

Lately, things have been really hard. But they have been indescribably good at the same time. I have decided ever since I began this blog that I would be honest and transparent, and this is something that is really a part of my life right now and I want to share.

I'm in this period where I am being stripped of a lot of things. God is taking away a lot of my comforts. Family, home, friends, time, a church family, school - God is not allowing me to find shelter in these things. Which stinks, but I am so so thankful.

I've noticed over the past two weeks how I feel a little disconnected from everything. My family is experiencing new things and going through things that I am not there to share - not that they don't love and and don't explain what is going on, but it not the same. Many of my friends are across campus and I don't have enough time to pour into them like I should. I don't have time - and I feel the Lord has called me to all the things that are taking up my time, and I feel that this is intentional on His part. School is much more of a struggle this year, with difficult classes in some subjects I'm not even interested in (Biology, for one). There's a lot going on, a lot of places where I am feeling a little stranded, I suppose you could say.

I'm being broken, and it is hard. God is calling me to Himself. He's saying, "Sara Beth, you have prayed for my perspective, and you have asked to learn to trust me. You have prayed for MY will in your life. This is what following me looks like." Definitely if I am called to missions, my life will be lonely - there won't be friends I can run to immediately or family I can turn to for shelter or a sense of home or anything that I can turn to but the Lord. And even I'm not called to missions, He is who I'm supposed to run to first. Right now He is forcing me to do that, to run to Him first and only. I've realized how quick I am to talk to others about what I'm going through. The other night someone said something that hurt me and I immediately wanted to call someone and complain in "righteous indignation". God called me out on that and I realized that He has to be the One I run to, He has to be my shelter, my refuge, my strength. As I am being broken of these things, as I am learning to trust God completely, I feel His hand so heavily in my life. I feel blessed that He has called me to this. He is teaching me to love and trust Him in a new way, and I thank Him for that every day.

In Hungary, I had no one to turn to but the Lord. Every moment I had to surrender my thoughts to Him and seek His will. And I am experiencing that here (in America) for the very first time! My life is so much fuller because I am constantly turning to the Lord, surrendering my thoughts and feelings and worries and words. He is disciplining me in a way that I have never experienced before, and I feel so loved! I feel like the words in Hosea are true of me - God has called me into the desert to speak tenderly to me. He has torn me to pieces, but He will heal me. He has injured me, but He will bind up my wounds.

 I know the Lord, I have felt His hand on me, I have seen it over the course of my life. I know I am His. He has taken a hold of me and molded me for very specific reasons, and I trust that. I trust His plan. I trust that He is the only One I need. I trust that He is reliable. I believe that He is my one desire, that without Him I am nothing, that in Him I have life and joy and peace and purpose. I want to know Him and the power of His resurrection and the fellowship of sharing in His sufferings. I want His will in my life, no matter what it is, no matter how hard it is. These words, these declarations, resonate in my soul. It is truth from my heart. Yes, these things are hard, and I mess up, but I have found the secret to being content in EVERY circumstance, and it is Christ Jesus my Lord.

 I praise God even in these struggles because I know He is there and He is sovereign and He is my rock. He is teaching me to run to Him. Life isn't supposed to be easy, He didn't promise me that, and now its time to see if I believe what I say. And I do believe it. I can say that with certainty.

Smile

I survived Homecoming! Yay!

We had Friday off of school thanks to President Smolla being inaugurated, so that was WONDERFUL. Thursday night, Tri Delt's float was set us (we were paired with KA), and I went out there and pomped like it was my job! Haha, but really, I was out there from 9pm-1am. It was really fun, and I really enjoyed it! I missed out on Homecoming stuff in high school - being homeschooled means you miss things like float-building and locker combinations and the like - so I was enjoying every minute of it on Thursday! Our theme was Batman, and our chalking and banner looked AMAZING. I was on skit committee, and I knew we had a great skit up our sleeve. But Thursday was a really good day, overall.

Allison and I pomping!

Pomping! Yay!

Friday, I had office hours, so I didn't make it to Pres Smolla's inauguration, unfortunately. I got together with some fellow RAs at one point to catch up and pray (some of usually meet for prayer on Thursday nights, but we'd cancelled for a few reasons). Then I headed back to the float for a while. Then it was skit time! I headed back stage with the actors, carrying signs and props and offering moral support. Our skit was really good, if I do say so myself. I only had to run across stage with signs that said "kapow!" or "wham!" (like the old TV show, get it?). But I enjoyed watching everyone act and do a great job! After the skit, we had the pep rally! We cheered and sang the fight song. They did burn a stuffed mocking bird (we played the Chattanooga Mocks), but you know, I got over it. I helped pomp a little more, saw a few friends, had a wonderful and needed conversation with my friend Emily (sometimes called Em Corn by me), and then decided to head back early and try to get to bed. I ended up staying up late talking with Karen and her friend Molly who was staying with us. So fun. Exhausting, but fun.

My friend Jordan and I before the pep rally

Our Float!

Saturday, I got up and went with another Tri Delt - Bethany - to pick up food for our alumni brunch! It was fun to talk with her for a little bit. Then we got to the brunch, set out the food, talked, and mingled. I got to see my sweet friend Rebecca, who graduated last year and who I knew from home and in whose wedding I am singing in two months!!! I'm so excited for her. After the brunch, I tailgated a little with Katie and my friend Lauren, and then we headed into the game! I stayed the whole entire game for the first time. I loved that. I am planning on doing that all the time. Everyone usually leaves around half time, and I realized that these players and cheerleaders and dancers and band members and coaches and whoever all work really hard all week to do this and then over half the student body leaves half way through. I would be really down about that if it happened to me, so I'm now going to stay the entire game when I go to football games. Anyway, we ended up losing the game, but that's ok. We'll do better next time. After the game, I went to my room, took a little nap, and then got ready for the dance! My friend Cole asked me to the dance, and so we, and some other friends, all went to dinner (it was SO good!!!) and then the dance. I had so much fun, dancing and laughing and singing and having fun. I got back around midnight, and talked with Karen and Molly for a few hours. They had to leave at 3 am to get Molly to the airport that was a few hours away for her early morning flight, so I stayed up with them and talked and laughed and listened to them sing old Lil Romeo songs.

Katie, our Delta Dad Owen, me, and Hilary at the alumni brunch

Cole, me, Anne Elizabeth, and David

I got up Sunday morning, had breakfast with Rebecca, went back to bed until an unreasonable hour this afternoon, and then I went to the library to study! Well, I just wanted to record my first real Homecoming!
Till next time...

I Love To Tell The Story

Be forewarned: This post is really long.

Lately, God's been teaching me a lot about evangelism.I know, that is one of those words that often evokes a negative reaction in people. And in this case, I don't necessarily mean walking up to strangers on the street, handing them a tract, and sharing the Gospel right then and there (although I'm becoming more convinced that there may be a time and place for that). Instead, I'm talking about relationships, following God and showing Him in all I do, getting to know people and as they get to know me they get to see Jesus.

I guess God has been opening my eyes to how He uses His people. He has invited us to be apart of the salvation process, and I don't want to refuse that. Evangelism is one of those things that we are commanded to do but that will come naturally if we are following God's heart. If I'm in God's will, how can my life not tell the story? (And yes, God has given me a new appreciation for that "old story")

There have been a number of ways I've seen and felt God pull me towards evangelism and recognizing its importance. One, clearly, is the mission trips I go on and the big one I'm praying about and planning for this summer. But lately, I've heard a few sermons on it, had a few conversations about it. When I was home, I went to the church my family's been attending. Naturally, the pastor spoke on our mission as Believers (which is evangelism, to make disciples of the world and baptize them in the name of the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit, to teach them to observe all of God's commandments, and show them that He will be with us until the end). A few things the pastor said that struck me:
"We are all called to evangelism. It is not a spiritual gift." How often do I lie and think that oh, evangelism isn't my gift, when really, it is the gift and commandment to every Believer!!!
"Evangelism involves joy." Ok, he didn't explicitly say this, but he did talk about the "good news," and I started thinking, The Gospel is good news! And shouldn't my life and countenance and words show that? The chance to tell the story - that should bring me great joy!
"Evangelism is not about training or tricks. We are not muzzled. There is power in the truth that saves us!"
"We are all, all, called to go." Amen! I strongly believe this, and if you ask me in person about it, get ready, because this is a passion of mine. I don't care if its just for a weekend or if its for a lifetime, we are all called to go at somepoint in our lives. That calling may differ in time and place, but it is a call for every single Believer.
"God will give us a passion for the those who don't know Him." This is so true!!! If God has called us to evangelize in our lives, will He not give us the desire to do so if we ask? Of course He will! I firmly believe that. If we don't "feel it," pray for that passion, and God will give it! Scary prayer, but how incredible and sweet!

God has also made me very aware of my friends here on campus who don't know Him and the opportunity I have. Not that my every interaction with them is about how I can "convert" them or whatever. But it makes me mindful. He has given me such a love for a lot of new people I am getting to know, through my sorority or through being an RA or through just living life at school, and I am so thankful for that. I have longed prayer to have God's perspective as my own, which is another scary prayer. I feel like God is giving that to me and asking, "What are you going to do with it now?" And that is hard, because I desperately want to show these people the good news, but I am one person, and I am a person who makes grave mistakes, and I can't do it on my own. Nor am I supposed to. But it has changed my perspective, and I am growing bolder in prayer, and I desperately want to love as Jesus does and be Him to my school and my community and my family and my friends and those who just see me pass by. I can't really explain it. But that is where I am right now.

"Now, brothers, I want to remind you of the gospel I preached to you, which you received and on which you have taken your stand (LOVE that). By this gospel you are saved, if you hold firmly to the word I preached to you. Otherwise, you have believed in vain. For what I received I passed on to you as of first importance: that Christ died for our sins according to the Scriptures, that he was buried, that he was raised on the third day according to the Scriptures" - 1 Corinthians 15:1-4

I'm not explaining myself well. I think it sounds like I am manipulative and have an agenda when I'm with people.


That's not is at all. I just want to follow Jesus, and I want to follow Him closely, and I want that to be reflected in my life and be a living Gospel that draws people and gives me opportunities to tell the story. Because I love to tell the story of unseen things above, of Jesus and his glory, of Jesus and his love. I love to tell the story because I know 'tis true; it satisfies my longings as nothing else can do. I love to tell the story, 'twill be my theme in glory, to tell the old, old story of Jesus and his love. I love to tell the story; 'tis pleasant to repeat what seems, each time I tell it, more wonderfully sweet. I love to tell the story for some have never heard the message of salvation from God's own holy Word. I love to tell the story for those who know it best seem hungering and thirsting to hear it like the rest. And when, in scenes of glory, I sing the new, new song, 'twill be the old, old story that I have loved so long. I love to tell the story, 'twill be my theme in glory, to tell the old, old story of Jesus and his love.

I'm sorry that this post is so long. I'm not good at being concise. But I needed to express myself, and this is my blog, so its all about self-expression! Please be praying for me as I work through this and what it means for my life.

Good news! Sanyesz, one of the youth pastors at the Paulus Center in Hungary, posted on his blog, "Thanks to the summer camps some new people were added to our youthgroup. Our prayer is that they would get to know Christ in the course of this year. We had a celebration a few weeks ago, when 2 of our youth were baptized. Our goal for the year is that those who already follow Christ would get a lot of opportunities to serve Him, too, so we started a ministry team from our youth. I envision them as the future ‘engine’ and rolemodel for the rest of the youth. We started meeting weekly, and currently we’re giving them training about who we are, what we want and how to reach our goals. At the youthmeeting we divided the team according to their ages (mid-school: 11-13 ys – where the leader is János, and 14-18 ys – where I lead), so we can provide for their different needs." How exciting! Please be praying also for their youth group. Two baptisms - that is incredible! I'm praising God for this!

Every Time You Say Goodbye

What a weekend!

Grayson Running Down the Dock

After surviving my two midterms, I loaded up the car, picked up a few friends, and hit the road! I dropped off my friends in Atlanta, and then came the tricky part. I didn't really know where I was going. But I just kept following 85, and eventually I got to Montgomery. It figured it out; it wasn't too bad. I got in late, but I did see a deer and two other animals that I couldn't identify while driving through some country roads. So that was interesting. Thankfully, I had music to keep me awake. When I got home, I was definitely a little hoarse, but sleep and water fixed that!

View from my room!

Daddy and Mama met me on the steps of our new house, and then Daddy gave me the tour. Every room has a great view. And the bay is beautiful. We are right next to this park with a huge pier, and Mama and I walked through it a few times. The only problem with that park is the ducks/geese/swans. I just can't get away from them!

Blurry Creeper Picture of the Wedding that Occurred Saturday

Thursday, we went to Foley to do some birthday shopping for Daddy! We found him so clothes that I think he's happy with. Before we went shopping, though, we ate at LuLu's! I'd never been before. It was fun! And delicious. And we saw dolphins! I tried to get a picture, but it didn't really work. It was a really fun day.

Grayon and I at LuLu's

He's single,if anyone's interested.:)

Payback, Roeck.

That was one of the two dolphins

That night when Daddy got home from work, we went out to dinner where Roecker's "best friend" (whose name Roecker can never remember) works. They aren't really best friends, they only met the last time Roecker ate there; Roecker does this a lot, especially with waiters, for some reason. But that was a fun meal.

Mama and Roecker

Friday was Daddy's birthday! He had to work, so I didn't see him till later. But we baked him a cake, and I attempted a sign. Daddy got home, we sang to him, and then we hit the road to Bon Jovi! Yes, I went to a Bon Jovi concert on the beach. We weren't super close, but I could see him on the stage. And there were video screens. It was a fun concert. Roecker loved it! We sang along, watched people getting more and more drunk, nearly died from second hand smoke inhalation, and had a wonderful time. Bon Jovi was impressive. I enjoyed myself.

Daddy admiring his PJs

Bon Jovi. Trust me.

Saturday, Mama and Daddy had to go to a party in Houston, and Roecker went to tour Troy, a college about two or three hours away. So it was just me and Grayboy! We rode our bikes up the hill (aka our driveway) to Jolly's, a hotdog stand. That was fun. And then I went to the art festival. There was some really cool things there! This one guy had wood carvings - they were the most detailed without being overwhelming pieces that I've ever seen! I could almost hear the song of the bird, or the sound of the fish leaping out of the water. I was impressed. Then Saturday night, I drove around a little, got dinner for Grayson and I, and then watched the Bama game. Roll Tide! This one ended better than last week's. But we aren't going to talk about that. Ohio State lost, so I sent my friend Chelsea my condolences.

Pretty Sunset

Sunday morning, I got up, headed to church (which was really good. There will probably be a post on that later), got back to Chestnut Manner (the name of our bay house; felt like I should throw that in there. We didn't name it. It was already named,), packed up, and hit the road! A quick stop in Atlanta to pick up someone, and I finally made it to back to school! It was good to be back. I saw a few friends, unpacked, and hit the hay!

Leo puppy! He's not a puppy, but still...so cute!

I know, everyone who knows me is shocked that I have a picture of my dog on here (or else they are shocked that I HAVE a dog). But yes, Leo is my bud. Its just all the other dogs/animals that I don't like.

I love my school. Every time I go away and then come back, I always remember why I came here and why I love it. So that is good! Breaks keep me from taking school for granted!

Tell Me Something I Don't Know

I go home tomorrow!

I just have to survive a quick RA duty, two tests, dropping people off in Atlanta, and the 7ish hour drive home. I can do that.

I don't know how to get home, but I mean, I can't get too lost, right? Just head for the ocean/Mobile. If I hit Mississippi, I'm too far west; if I land in Florida, I need to keep going! Oh boy.

But yeah. As of right now, I could tell you more than you want to know about ahl al-bayt, the Battle of Badr, Aisha, Rashidan, the carbon cycle, global warming, or nutrient cycles. Not that you want to know about any of that! And talk about a random conglomeration...

Here's hoping for 24 hours from now when I'm in my new bed in my new house in my new town with my old (and wonderful and familiar) family! Till then...

Crush

I will start with the bad news and then go to the good.

Alabama lost!!! Oh, how I hate those words!!! I mean, I knew it had to happen sometime, but to lose to South Carolina??? Argh! I'm so disappointed. But I'll still stick by my team. I did all through the difficult years when we changed coaches every other game (ok, that's an exaggeration), and I'll stick by them even when we're not number 1. I don't always like it, but you know what, it had to happen. I had just hoped it wouldn't happen until after I died...

On to the good part of the night.

We had a Tri Delt function tonight! I went with my friend Alex, who is an RA and who does Campus Outreach. The function took place in a barn about 30 minutes away (technically it was a Dutch Barn For Rent - the sign said so).

Katie and I outside the barn

There was a one-man band (but he conveniently had harmony...we puzzled over that until someone told us that he had a pedal that harmonized with his voice. Crazy), swing dancing, BBQ (I ate the macaroni and cheese and cole slaw), and a fun time to be had by all. Seriously, it was so fun.

Erika, Katie, myself, and Emily

Neither Alex nor I really knew how to swing dance; I knew a little bit from dancing with Daddy at weddings, but I am by no means an expert. And if you've ever seen me dance, well...I'm not the most coordinated person, to say the least. But we watched people, would copy a few steps, and slowly put it together. In the end, we just faked it and goofed off. I did partial ballet partial swing dance to one song, partial doo-si-doo partial swing dance to another. It was fun. And funny. Most of the time I just laughed at myself and my mistakes. And then sometimes I danced with Hilary. When the singer took breaks, they played an iPod, which was really fun. Mama, they played one of your favorite songs and I thought of you. :)

Alex and I

Anyway, we had such a good time. It was so fun to dance and laugh and be silly and just have fun! The only damper came when I remembered Alabama had lost, but I just shoved it out of my mind. So instead, I'll remember all the fun that was had.

Livy, myself, and Katie

And don't worry, Mark Ingram, I still love you.

* Naturally, late that night/early Sunday morning, the fire alarm went off. Yes, at 4:50 am, my residence hall had to evacuate. Dang it. But you know, it was an experience. And at least I was fully clothed, unlike a certain extended family member when the alarm went off at HER college. :)