Reason Enough

For a class, I'm reading The Strange Career of Jim Crow, by C. Vann Woodward. Its a very interesting book, which Martin Luther King Jr. called "the historical Bible of the Civil Rights movement." Woodward makes the case that after the Civil War/War of Northern Aggression/War Between the States/whatever you want to call it, there was really very little segregation and even racism in the South. Both blacks and whites lived in the same neighborhoods, interspersed throughout cities and countryside. There was little to no segregation on trains, in dining rooms, etc. Woodward uses studies by numerous men from the 1870s to the 1890s who report on this unexpected occurrence. Woodward claims that the South resisted the Jim Crow laws, and that the onset of these laws was "due not so much to a conversion as it was to a relaxation of the opposition".

I've been thinking lately about where my value is, and this book has got me thinking some more. Yes, there was fear, hatred, jealousy, and all of those other emotions between blacks and whites. But I think that as the Jim Crow laws set in, suddenly white people found value in the color of their skin. After all, they had all these privileges just because they were white. And while some recognized this was wrong, why put up a fuss when this is showing how valuable you are just because of the color of your skin? The source of one's worth became color. (I do realize there was more to it than just this, but I do think this was part of it.)

Like I said, I've been thinking about where my own value is. After talking with some people after rush, I am so glad that my value is not in three deltas that I wear on my jersey (and I am glad that Tri Delt does not want to be my value, that these girls support me instead of determining me to be "good enough"). My value is not in having a certain group of friends (although I am very proud of my friends!). My value is not in my family (that one took a little more thought. I think I try to find value in my family because I love them so much, but even my parents would say that they are not what gives me value). My value is not in my church (again, difficult because I love my church. But they also would be quick to say they are not my value, and I know this to be true). My value is not in my actions (I really struggle with that, I try to make what I do worth something, but I know that in actuality my deeds are nothing more than filthy rags).

My value is in the Lord. He is my Salvation, my Redeemer. It is because He redeemed me that I have any value at all. That is where I rest my hope and my faith and my trust. I am valuable because He loves me. Despite how unworthy I am, Jesus decided to sacrifice it all for me, to save me. Because of that, I give Him glory. And that is what gives me value.

Those are easy words to say (type). But I know it to be true. Yes, I struggle with trying to find value in my actions and words. I try to be "good enough" on my own (its that stinking independence and self-reliance and self-sufficiency that I so struggle with). But I know deep in my heart where my value really is. It is in the Lord, the One with whom I have set my course to follow. He is my treasure.

Shine The Light

Well, y'all, I survived rush from the "other side"!

It was crazy. As a Tri Delt, all the practices and songs were really fun - I did enjoy spending time with my "sisters". The hard part came with seeing girls get hurt, not come back, etc. I love the way Tri Delt does rush, but it still stinks. And its even more difficult as hall staff, because I have all those girls to worry about and check on. BUT it is now all over. And Pref Tea and Bid Day made it all worth it!

Pref Tea was so beautiful. I loved it as a freshman going through rush, but it was even more meaningful as a sophomore. The stories, the words, the songs, they actually meant something real to me. I had experienced all of those attributes - support, love, comfort, genuineness, fun, etc - with my sisters in Tri Delta. So that made the night of Pref Tea beautiful. After the first one was over, I went and found Olivia and Katie and we just hugged and wished that Hilary was there. The original McG girls. They mean more to me now than I ever imagined.

We've been together 2.5 years (plus Hilary)!

I love them. So much.

Bid Day was also extremely fun! To spend time with my pledge class, awaiting news of the new pledge class, seeing girls I'd hoped would be there come running towards us...it was great and exciting. I spent time with my pledge class, with the older girls, and of course, with the beautiful new Deltas!

Love my pledge class!

New Deltas!

Reppin' McG 100!

McG 100 isn't the same without Hil Bill!

I Keep Looking

I've always found it interesting that pain and suffering are so intrinsically a part of our lives. I mean this in every sense of those two words. Whether its people starving or beaten or grieving or abused, life is full of pain and suffering.

The real thing I find interesting in that is the Believer's response. My faith tells me not to run from pain, not to seek out the easiest path, not to want only the easy and simple things in life. My Bible doesn't tell me, "Do everything you can to do as little as possible, be liked by everyone, and take it easy." Actually, it tells me to work out my salvation with fear and trembling, to be prepared for people to NOT like me (and perhaps hate me), and to seek God's will first and foremost.

I want God's will more than I want an easy life. I know I've said that, but I truly do value the path God has for me more than any path I could come up with for myself. I'm learning to value the hardship, to embrace it and grow in it. And honestly, lately, it hasn't been my hardship that's the issue; its the hardship of those I love, the pain faced by friends and family, watching them have to struggle and reconcile. And that hurts me. I hurt to watch that. Yet at the same time, would I take away any of the joy of knowing God that those hard things bring? Absolutely not. I have to rest in that. I'm a fix-it person, I don't like to sit around and wait, I like to get things go and fix the issue. But life isn't always like that.

Life is hard. I realize I don't know what that word means like some people do. But as my mama says, our hurt is our hurt. It isn't diminished just because someone else is experiencing a different kind of hurt. And those hardships are the result of sin, of believing lies. But you see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly. So we have hope, and hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out His love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit.

I love in Job, after Job has said, "Look at all these things I've done, how I've lived, yet God isn't answering me or fixing this." God says to him, "Brace yourself like a man; I will question you, and you shall answer me. Where were you when I laid the earth's foundations?...Have you ever given orders to the mourning, or shown the dawn its place...? Have you journeyed to the springs of the sea or walked in the recessed of the deep? Have the gates of death been shown to you?" I love this part, "Who cuts a channel for the torrents of rain and a path for the thunderstorm, to water a land where no man lives, a desert with no one in it, to satisfy a desolate wasteland and make it sprout with grass? Does the rain have a father? Who fathers the drops of dew? From whose womb comes the ice? ...Can you raise your voice to the clouds and cover yourself with a flood of water? Do you send lightening bolts on their way?...Who endowed the heart with wisdom or gave understanding to the mind? " This goes on and on through Job 38-42. To me, when God asks those questions, He is saying, "You don't know what is going on. You do not have the power in this situation. I know what I am doing. I know the plans I have for you, plans not to harm you, but to give you a hope and a future." That is so beautiful.

Yes, life is hard. Yes, we will suffer and hurt and grieve and sorrow. James tells us that we will face trials and tribulations, events that test our faith. But Job reminds me that God is far more in control than I can imagine. The lightening bolts report to Him and say, "Here we are"! God is in control, He has the plan. Even in the pain and suffering, His plans are to bring me a hope and a future. He has saved me by His Son. I want to trust Him with my life.

This is rambly (not a word, but you get what I mean), and not exactly where I intended to go with it, but it was something of which I needed to be reminded.

Let It Snow

A lot of stuff has been happening lately. Good and bad. I'm still processing most of it, and honestly, I wouldn't know what to write about "my feelings" even if I wanted to. So instead, I'm going to recap my last week or so.

- I got back to school! I rode with my friend Alex. We had such a good time. She is so funny.
- The whole way back to school, we keep hearing news of this "huge snow storm". I laugh a little, wish for snow, but sort of doubt that it will happen. But Sunday night, we get a phone call saying, "Classes for Monday have been cancelled!" What! First day of class CANCELLED???? I think yes!
- Monday I got up and sure enough, there was a blanket of snow everywhere! It was magical! We had at least 8 inches. Most snow I've ever seen! I had to work in the RA office, so I trekked through some of the snow before other people were even awake. It was amazing. It really brought to mind Isaiah 1:18, which says, "'Come now, and let us reason together,' says the Lord. 'Though your sins are like scarlet, they shall be as white as snow...'" And naturally, all the snow called for some frolicking!

My First Snow Angel!

The Lake

The Rose Garden Covered in Snow

- Monday night, we got ANOTHER phone call cancelling class! That was exciting. The snow was icier, so we didn't play in it on Tuesday. Instead, I watched movies most of the day. Haha. But it was fantastic. So relaxing.

- Tuesday night, class was cancelled AGAIN for Wednesday. That was frustrating. I was ready to go back to class! Wednesday we mostly watched movies and talked.

-  Wednesday night we got yet another phone call cancelling class for Thursday. Now I was just peeved. But when we ventured out to see a movie, the roads were terrible, so I understood why they cancelled class. Katie, Kristen, and I went and saw Country Strong. It was really good. I loved it.

- Thankfully, we had class on Friday! I went to both of my classes and really liked them.

- Saturday and Sunday we had the first two rounds of rush! That was fun and difficult at the same time. It was hard as an RA, because I know some personal things about girls not even on my hall, and that made things difficult. Not bad, just difficult. And it was hard with my hall, to hear girls who were upset. But I'll make it through. I also got some hard news on Sunday, so that was hard. But Sunday night, Katie, Olivia, Laura, and I went to ABC for dinner. It was so fun. We literally talked about everything and nothing. It was perfect.

- Monday had no class thanks to MLK. I mostly hung out, did some work in my room. And Tuesday we had class! I liked both of my Tuesday/Thursday classes, so I think class-wise, it will be a good semester!

- Now I'm working in the RA office until 10:30. Then I have class and homework and maybe a nap thrown in there somewhere. :)

Till next time...

Roamin' Through Romans

You, therefore, have no excuse, you who pass judgment on someone else, for at whatever point you judge the other, you are condemning yourself, because you who pass judgment do the same things. Now we know that God's judgment against those who do such things is based on truth. So when you, a mere man, pass judgment on them and yet do the same things, do you think you will escape God's judgment? Or do you show contempt for the riches of His kindness, tolerance and patience, not realizing that God's kindness leads you towards repentance?

But because of your stubbornness and your unrepentant heart, you are storing up wrath against yourself for the day of God's wrath, when His righteous judgment will be revealed. God 'will give to each person according to what he has done.' To those who by persistence in doing good seek glory, honor, and immortality, He will give eternal life. But for those who are self-seeking and who reject the truth and follow evil, there will be wrath and anger. There will be trouble and distress for every human being who does evil: first for the Jew, then for the Gentile; but glory, honor, and peace for everyone who does good: first for the Jew, then for the Gentile. For God does not show favoritism...

But now a righteousness from God, apart from the law, has been made known, to which the Law and the Prophets testify. This righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified freely by His grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus. God presented Him as a sacrifice of atonement through faith in His blood. He did this to demonstrate His justice...

Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Now only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance character; and character, hope. And hope does not disappoint us, because God has poured out His love into our hearts by the Holy Spirit, whom He has given us.

You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly.

Therefore, there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus, because through Christ Jesus the law of the Spirit of life SET ME FREE from the law of sin and death. For what the law was powerless to do in that it was weakened by the sinful nature, God did by sending His own Son in the likeness of sinful man to be a sin offering. And so He condemned sin in sinful man, in order that the righteous requirements of the law might be fully met in us, who do not live according to the sinful nature but according to the Spirit...

If Christ is in you, your body is dead because of sin, yet your spirit is alive because of righteousness...

If by the Spirit you put to death the misdeeds of the body, you will live, because those who are led by the Spirit of God are sons of God. For you did not receive a spirit that makes you a slave again to fear, but you received the Spirit of sonship. And by Him we cry "Abba, Father." The Spirit Himself testifies with our spirit that we are God's children. Now if we are children, then we are heirs - heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in His sufferings in order that we may also share in His glory....

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose. For those God foreknew He also predestined to be conformed to the likeness of His Son, that He might be firstborn among many brothers. And those He predestined, He also called; those He called, He also justified; those He justified, He also glorified.

What, then, shall we say in response to this? If God is for us, who can be against us?

Romans 2:1-11, 3:21-25, 5:1-6, 8:1-4, 10, 13-17, 28-31

On The Sunny Side Of The Street

Well, its my third snow day in a row back at school, and there's not much to do. Classes haven't even started yet, and we can't really leave campus. So I've been watching a lot of movies, mostly mindless ones. In one movie that I was watching, they kept playing "On The Sunny Side Of The Street." I had sort of forgotten about that song in the back of my mind, but as soon as it started playing, I smiled and sang along. When I was little, Daddy used to sing to me before I fell asleep at night. He'd tuck me in and then sing a few songs. He made up a song for me when I was born that he would sing (That one is called "Sara Beth Lives In A Tree House"), so he would sing me that, and then one of my favorites was "On The Sunny Side Of The Street." For some reason, in my mind. I had this vivid image of how the story unfolded. I'd see my Daddy grabbing his camel hair coat from a coat rack (I don't think we ever had a coat rack, so I don't know where that came from) and this fedora-esque hat. I'd see him walking out across the street to this side that was brightly lit (duh, the sunny side). I'd see him tap-dancing (the pitter-pat, you know, and the happy tune in his step). Then I'd see the other side of the street, very dark, with all these hairy creatures (Rovers...like Grover from Sesame Street, haha). I don't know how I can still see that in my mind just from hearing that song, but I do. I hear Daddy's voice singing it to me, slapping his hands on his knees to keep the beat. I remember giggling sometimes at the beginning. Its such a precious memory to me. I love my Daddy.

Glory to God Forever

I was in Atlanta for the last few days at a conference called Passion. It is for college-aged students, and it was so neat to be a part of a gathering of 22,000 college kids all praising Jesus! The whole four days were very encouraging and affirming to me. It is funny (except that this is how God frequently works) that a lot of these issues have been on my heart for past week or two, and then they were addressed in various ways while I was at Passion!
One night, a speaker was talking about what "holy" means. Daddy had told me this before, but I'd forgotten. Holy literally means different or other, and repeating it three times means very and completely other. I was really struck by how other God is from me. He is just so completely other. To think that He chooses to have something to do with me, to convict me and grow me more and more like Him, knowing that I never will until I meet Him face to face...that amazes me. His love, His nature, His very self is so other from me that all I can do is praise and glorify Him.

God also reminded me that He will make His will be done.  Romans 8:31 says, "If God is for us, who can be against us?" That is such a vivid and personal verse for me right now as I wait on news about this summer with Hungary. We were singing "Our God" one night, and the whole song spoke to me, especially the bridge where it says, "If our God is for, then who could ever stop us? And if our God is with us, then what can stand against?" I was thinking about this summer, and the plans that I believe God has laid on my heart, and it was like He was reminding me, "I am in control. You are striving to do My will, and I am going to make it happen. Trust in me and do not fear." It was such a sense of peace and thankfulness and relief. I've said it before, if God closes the doors to my going to Hungary for the summer, then that is great - all I want is His will for my life. But this whole weekend, actually, was very affirming that I was following where the Lord is leading me.

God spoke a lot to me through David Platt and Francis Chan. The Lord reminded me that my purpose in life is to advance His kingdom. Every decision should be based on that. And that doesn't just mean in Hungary this summer. That means every day, at home or at school or at church or in a different country. Wherever God leads me, my purpose is to advance His kingdom. I want to live based on that every single day, with every interaction. As Francis Chan said, I want my life to show that I believe in Hell. That was so powerful for me. Because I do believe in Hell, and there have been times in my life where I have lived with that urgency. Yet I want to live with that urgency every day. I don't know what that looks like, but I pray that God would place that desperation on my heart.

I have truly found something - Someone - Who is worth losing everything for. And I believe that. I pray that my life would reflect that, that He would be glorified in me. I pray that for me, to live really is Christ and to die is gain. I know that to die is gain, but I earnestly pray that I would live Jesus, Jesus flowing out through me. I pray that these words I type and post are more than just words. All fall, God taught me so much, and I pray that I live out my faith minute by minute, visible for all to see. I pray that I with an unveiled face would reflect the glory of God.