It is storming at school right now, and I love it!
I never thought thunderstorms would be something I missed, but they are! March at home is full of them, along with tornado warnings. I used to be terrified of them (I've written about that before), but now I love them!
The weather was getting ready for this storm all day. It was slightly overcast and windy. I loved walking outside with the wind blowing my hair and clothes. And then, when it first started raining, I didn't even put the hood of my rainjacket up. It felt so good!
The weather reminded me that I am alive. That sounds weird, but I've been so trapped in studying that I forgot I was something more than a mind in a student. I have such a greater purpose than studying! Yes, studying is important (and don't worry, Mama and Daddy, I am studying a lot), but it is not my identity. I really needed to be reminded of that, and God used the weather today to do so!
Karen had the window slightly cracked open, and I've left it that way. I'll study in my room listening to the storm until I brave the waters and go to dinner. It'll be an adventure, and I'm already excited about it! :)
Monday, February 28, 2011
Wednesday, February 23, 2011
With Everything
So I was reading in Hebrews today, and in light of what's been going on with me lately, this verse really struck me. Hebrews 3:1 says, "Fix your thoughts on Jesus."
That is so right. My mind gets dizzy thinking on so many things, worrying about so many things, wasting my time and energy thinking on what I have to do and where I need to go and when I need to get things done. But thinking about Jesus is never a waste of time. I can think about Him whenever I want and it will always be beneficial.
That just really refreshes me this morning. I pray that today I would remember to fix my thoughts on Jesus.
That is so right. My mind gets dizzy thinking on so many things, worrying about so many things, wasting my time and energy thinking on what I have to do and where I need to go and when I need to get things done. But thinking about Jesus is never a waste of time. I can think about Him whenever I want and it will always be beneficial.
That just really refreshes me this morning. I pray that today I would remember to fix my thoughts on Jesus.
Monday, February 21, 2011
Kingdom Come
I'm not really sure if this is going to make sense, but I needed to be reminded of these things, as is often the case when I blog. I've lost a little bit of my joy, and I'm a little frustrated with who I am. So I want to take some time and remember where I've come from.
Psalm 77 says, "I will remember the deeds of the Lord." And God often reminds the Israelites how important it is to remember what He has done, where He has brought them from. So I want to remember. Right now its easy, because I'm wallowing in my sin. I know to an extent my depravity. Do I understand it completely? No. And I have little comprehension of how I pain the Lord with my sin. The fact that I choose to sin, despite knowing Jesus and what He has done and is doing in me...That sickens me. Literally, it makes me sick to my stomach. What kind of creature am I, saved and knowing the grace and love of Jesus yet choosing to spit on His face and turn my back on Him? Yet, and I can't even believe I can type that, yet Jesus chose to redeem me. He saw me in my sin before I was even born, and He loved me in a way that I cannot understand. He chose to pay the price for me. A price that required Him to give up everything and fight for me. It doesn't make sense. I am not worth anything. But still, Jesus came and lived a perfect life and taught us what it means to follow Him, to give everything away and take up our crosses and run after Him, and He died a senseless death for everyone ever created, knowing that they would not all accept His gift (but He did it anyway! What kind of love is that?), and then He fought Satan, He fought death, and He paid the price for us. He rose again, defeating death, the victor, but He didn't even stop there! No, He sent His Spirit to live inside us and encourage and guide us in our race after Jesus. Right now, this is so poignant to me. I'm in an Islam class this semester, and I am reading a book for another class that talks a lot about the Hindus of India; when I compare those gods to my God, the one true God, I am blown away. What kind of God do I serve who not only saved me because He knew I couldn't save myself and He loved me and wanted to be with me but who sent His Spirit to continue working on me? He didn't leave me after saving me, hoping I would do my best. Instead, He came to live inside me and teach me and discipline me and encourage me.
I feel Peter's struggle so acutely. Peter was so desperate to follow Jesus but he constantly made mistakes. I know that very well. When Peter says in John 13:37, "Lord, why can't I follow you now? I will lay down my life for you," yet he denies Jesus just a few hours later, that is me. I hate it, but that is me. I type these words, wanting to give everything for Jesus and my faith, but tomorrow morning, I know I will somehow deny Him in my sin. And that is so frustrating. I don't know how to relate that. I don't know how to relate my love and my failure. But I guess it goes back to the parable of the lost son. Someone once preached on this and talked about how we innately want to pay restitution for our sin (seen in Luke 15:17-20), but that Grace overwhelms the need for restitution. That is the whole point. I can't pay restitution and God knows that. He has taken that away. In wanting to pay restitution, I am sinning in my self-reliance and pride. So I have to let go and trust and keep running after Jesus. "Let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider Him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart" (Hebrews 12:1-3). I'm adopting that as my mantra for a while. Throw off sin, keep running, and keep my eyes on Jesus.
Psalm 77 says, "I will remember the deeds of the Lord." And God often reminds the Israelites how important it is to remember what He has done, where He has brought them from. So I want to remember. Right now its easy, because I'm wallowing in my sin. I know to an extent my depravity. Do I understand it completely? No. And I have little comprehension of how I pain the Lord with my sin. The fact that I choose to sin, despite knowing Jesus and what He has done and is doing in me...That sickens me. Literally, it makes me sick to my stomach. What kind of creature am I, saved and knowing the grace and love of Jesus yet choosing to spit on His face and turn my back on Him? Yet, and I can't even believe I can type that, yet Jesus chose to redeem me. He saw me in my sin before I was even born, and He loved me in a way that I cannot understand. He chose to pay the price for me. A price that required Him to give up everything and fight for me. It doesn't make sense. I am not worth anything. But still, Jesus came and lived a perfect life and taught us what it means to follow Him, to give everything away and take up our crosses and run after Him, and He died a senseless death for everyone ever created, knowing that they would not all accept His gift (but He did it anyway! What kind of love is that?), and then He fought Satan, He fought death, and He paid the price for us. He rose again, defeating death, the victor, but He didn't even stop there! No, He sent His Spirit to live inside us and encourage and guide us in our race after Jesus. Right now, this is so poignant to me. I'm in an Islam class this semester, and I am reading a book for another class that talks a lot about the Hindus of India; when I compare those gods to my God, the one true God, I am blown away. What kind of God do I serve who not only saved me because He knew I couldn't save myself and He loved me and wanted to be with me but who sent His Spirit to continue working on me? He didn't leave me after saving me, hoping I would do my best. Instead, He came to live inside me and teach me and discipline me and encourage me.
I feel Peter's struggle so acutely. Peter was so desperate to follow Jesus but he constantly made mistakes. I know that very well. When Peter says in John 13:37, "Lord, why can't I follow you now? I will lay down my life for you," yet he denies Jesus just a few hours later, that is me. I hate it, but that is me. I type these words, wanting to give everything for Jesus and my faith, but tomorrow morning, I know I will somehow deny Him in my sin. And that is so frustrating. I don't know how to relate that. I don't know how to relate my love and my failure. But I guess it goes back to the parable of the lost son. Someone once preached on this and talked about how we innately want to pay restitution for our sin (seen in Luke 15:17-20), but that Grace overwhelms the need for restitution. That is the whole point. I can't pay restitution and God knows that. He has taken that away. In wanting to pay restitution, I am sinning in my self-reliance and pride. So I have to let go and trust and keep running after Jesus. "Let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles, and let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith, who for the joy set before Him endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. Consider Him who endured such opposition from sinful men, so that you will not grow weary and lose heart" (Hebrews 12:1-3). I'm adopting that as my mantra for a while. Throw off sin, keep running, and keep my eyes on Jesus.
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Time After Time
Things have been really busy. I need to slow down and process things. I have some important decisions to make, and I've been avoiding them a little, but mostly I've just been too busy to think about them! Anyway, I'll post about that later, but for now, I do want to leave a run-down of what I've been up to the past few weeks.
- I have a Little in Tri Delt! Her name is Angela, and I love her already! I'm excited to get to know her better. In some ways, we are the same person. I love it! :)
- I took my hall to Brick Street (some of them for the first time) to indulge in the BEST CAKE EVER, also known as sweet potato cake. YUM!
- I've was given an officer position in Tri Delt! I'm the new music chair. Not exactly sure what all that entails, BUT I'm excited about it. We had officer training last night, and it made me really excited about the new officers and what our vision is for Tri Delta.
- I have a Little in Tri Delt! Her name is Angela, and I love her already! I'm excited to get to know her better. In some ways, we are the same person. I love it! :)
Fam pre-new littles :)
Lara, Robin, Claire, and me
Yay! I love my little!
Sweet Potato Cake- Heavenly!
- Things are progressing on my ICP. I don't know if I've mentioned it, but I'm creating my major to be cultural anthropology. I'm almost done! I just have a few more meetings, and then I just have to wait to hear if its approved!- I've was given an officer position in Tri Delt! I'm the new music chair. Not exactly sure what all that entails, BUT I'm excited about it. We had officer training last night, and it made me really excited about the new officers and what our vision is for Tri Delta.
- Valentine's Day came and went! I woke up to a text from Daddy asking me to be his Valentine. Of course I accepted! It was a pretty fun day. A professor gave out candy to my class, so that was good. Mary Grace was my Valentine's date to the DH. We had a lovely dinner together. :) I also baked with some friends, because it was Angela's birthday! So I took her a few cookies to celebrate! :)
- We had a function! On Saturday night, Katie and I took our friends Emily and Julie to the "Throwdown for Your Hometown" function! Laura took Karen, and we all went to dinner together. It was so much fun! Julie dressed up as "Susanna" and I dressed up in plaid and suspenders and made a cardboard banjo. (As in, "Oh Susanna, don't you cry for me, I come from Alabama with a banjo on my knee...") Katie was Justin Bieber and Emily was J Bieb's Number One Fan. Laura was Antoine of Youtube fame ("He's climbin' in yo windows, snatchin' yo people up, tryin' to rape 'em, so y'all need to hide yo kids, hide yo wife, and hide yo husbands cause he's rapin' errbody out there") and Karen was the news reporter, complete with a microphone. We had so much fun!
My costume
J Biebs and I
I really like this one. I don't know why, but I do
Oh, Susanna, don't you cry for me, cause I come from Alabama with a banjo on my knee!
A little crazy at function!
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Lucky
I hate being sick. Especially when I don't have my mommy. But thankfully, I have Karen!
Yes, I'm sick. It stinks. I hate it. And its bad because I'm not cooped up in a whole house, just a tiny dorm room. But like I said, Kare Bear comes to the rescue every time! The first night I was sick, Karen and I procrastinated and talked and talked and laughed and had a great time. She gave me advice on my crafting (for my Little! Post soon to follow about that), she was encouraging, she didn't play into the whole "oh, poor sick baby" (I always hate that, unless its my Mama), she didn't try to stay far away form me so she wouldn't catch my germs (although I wouldn't have blamed her for that). Instead, Karen acted like normal, and we had such a good night! I'm really thankful for it!
Last night, my fever went up again, so I got some advice from the infirmary. They told me to drink Gatorade, so I texted Karen asking her to bring me some. She brought me my favorite color - blue - and we continued to have a great night. We procrastinated again, Karen advised my crafting, and then we listened to old music. It was hilarious. We sang that song, "Fall For You," by Secondhand Serenade (lamest song ever - it was hilarious), and "Over My Head," by The Fray, and some Billy Joel, and "Brick House" and a few others like that. It was so fun and funny. It was a great night!
So even though I can't have my mama while I'm sick, Karen does a pretty good job of taking care of me. Thanks, Kare. You are seriously the best roommate ever.
Yes, I'm sick. It stinks. I hate it. And its bad because I'm not cooped up in a whole house, just a tiny dorm room. But like I said, Kare Bear comes to the rescue every time! The first night I was sick, Karen and I procrastinated and talked and talked and laughed and had a great time. She gave me advice on my crafting (for my Little! Post soon to follow about that), she was encouraging, she didn't play into the whole "oh, poor sick baby" (I always hate that, unless its my Mama), she didn't try to stay far away form me so she wouldn't catch my germs (although I wouldn't have blamed her for that). Instead, Karen acted like normal, and we had such a good night! I'm really thankful for it!
Last night, my fever went up again, so I got some advice from the infirmary. They told me to drink Gatorade, so I texted Karen asking her to bring me some. She brought me my favorite color - blue - and we continued to have a great night. We procrastinated again, Karen advised my crafting, and then we listened to old music. It was hilarious. We sang that song, "Fall For You," by Secondhand Serenade (lamest song ever - it was hilarious), and "Over My Head," by The Fray, and some Billy Joel, and "Brick House" and a few others like that. It was so fun and funny. It was a great night!
So even though I can't have my mama while I'm sick, Karen does a pretty good job of taking care of me. Thanks, Kare. You are seriously the best roommate ever.
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