Reason Enough

For a class, I'm reading The Strange Career of Jim Crow, by C. Vann Woodward. Its a very interesting book, which Martin Luther King Jr. called "the historical Bible of the Civil Rights movement." Woodward makes the case that after the Civil War/War of Northern Aggression/War Between the States/whatever you want to call it, there was really very little segregation and even racism in the South. Both blacks and whites lived in the same neighborhoods, interspersed throughout cities and countryside. There was little to no segregation on trains, in dining rooms, etc. Woodward uses studies by numerous men from the 1870s to the 1890s who report on this unexpected occurrence. Woodward claims that the South resisted the Jim Crow laws, and that the onset of these laws was "due not so much to a conversion as it was to a relaxation of the opposition".

I've been thinking lately about where my value is, and this book has got me thinking some more. Yes, there was fear, hatred, jealousy, and all of those other emotions between blacks and whites. But I think that as the Jim Crow laws set in, suddenly white people found value in the color of their skin. After all, they had all these privileges just because they were white. And while some recognized this was wrong, why put up a fuss when this is showing how valuable you are just because of the color of your skin? The source of one's worth became color. (I do realize there was more to it than just this, but I do think this was part of it.)

Like I said, I've been thinking about where my own value is. After talking with some people after rush, I am so glad that my value is not in three deltas that I wear on my jersey (and I am glad that Tri Delt does not want to be my value, that these girls support me instead of determining me to be "good enough"). My value is not in having a certain group of friends (although I am very proud of my friends!). My value is not in my family (that one took a little more thought. I think I try to find value in my family because I love them so much, but even my parents would say that they are not what gives me value). My value is not in my church (again, difficult because I love my church. But they also would be quick to say they are not my value, and I know this to be true). My value is not in my actions (I really struggle with that, I try to make what I do worth something, but I know that in actuality my deeds are nothing more than filthy rags).

My value is in the Lord. He is my Salvation, my Redeemer. It is because He redeemed me that I have any value at all. That is where I rest my hope and my faith and my trust. I am valuable because He loves me. Despite how unworthy I am, Jesus decided to sacrifice it all for me, to save me. Because of that, I give Him glory. And that is what gives me value.

Those are easy words to say (type). But I know it to be true. Yes, I struggle with trying to find value in my actions and words. I try to be "good enough" on my own (its that stinking independence and self-reliance and self-sufficiency that I so struggle with). But I know deep in my heart where my value really is. It is in the Lord, the One with whom I have set my course to follow. He is my treasure.