Desperate

I have so many posts that I need to write. So much has been going through my mind. I've had a number of things I've needed to process and deal with.

I think the most pervasive issues of the week has been violence. I've really had to face man's utter depravity in shocking, horrific, and unspeakable ways. Thankfully, none of these have been experienced first hand. I had to read Bapsi Sidhwa's Cracking India for a class, and I am currently writing a paper comparing the novel with the movie adaptation, Earth. While the book describes truly horrific scenes, the movie actually shows some of them (at least shows enough for viewers to get more than the idea of what was occurring). Additionally, I'm working on a paper for my Women, Gender, Islam class where I'm comparing the treatment of  Muslim women in America (particularly post-9/11) with the treatment of Muslim women in India (particularly with the Godhra train burning in 2002, an event that lead to the death of 790 Muslims). Both of these incidents lead to the occurrence of truly terrible violence - rape, murder, burning, etc.

I've been reading these things, and I sit at my computer with tears in my eyes, only able to shake my head and pray. It has truly been trying and horrible and impossible to process. It has affected my week in a lot of ways, as even when I'm doing fun things, I have these pent-up thoughts in my mind about these events. I'm truly broken at what we as sinful human beings are capable of (and I number myself among them! While I may not have physically "murdered" someone, I have torn many people down with my words and actions).

I just see the need for Jesus so much right now! I'm faced with our depravity, the sin we are incomprehensibly capable of of, and I see so much more my need for a Savior, a Redeemer, One who forgives and makes me new. Yes, I must be made new. I must. Who I actually am is worthless and filthy and disgusting. I cannot understand Jesus' love me me despite that. I can't understand how He can love me knowing me as He does. But He does. And all I can do in response to that is be truly humbled, bow own in worship and thankfulness, and promise to spread His truth and love to those who don't know.