Faithfulness Beyond Compare

God's faithfulness is beyond measure. He has the full picture, and He loves to direct us step by step.

I just walked through the hardest time of my life thus far. The accident that my mom was in resulted in a lot of hard for me. Mentally and spiritually, it was the most difficult thing I've ever gone through, and there was not an area of the my life that wasn't affected. By the end of my senior year, I was trying to seek the Lord's will and was learning to just trust where He led. I moved to Boone, excited about an opportunity but not really sure what was next. And my first two months here were still incredibly difficult. The Lord drew me physically away from my family and friends in order to remind me of who He is and why I trust Him. I was broken, and I still didn't feel direction in regards to my future, but I felt the Lord healing my wounds. He taught me to trust Him on a deeper level, and He taught me that following Him is worth it, no matter what. It doesn't matter what my life looks like, how broken or lost I feel - I still desire deep in my soul to follow Jesus. He is all I want. As the Lord worked in my heart, He brought me friends and people who really care about me. The Lord pried open my fingers from around my family, and now I am getting to the place where they are just my family again, not my family-who-might-be-taken-away-from-me. Before I was just holding on too tightly, placing them in a position that wasn't theirs to hold. And God made sure to remind me of that.

January started as a continuation of some hard lessons. The Lord called me to wait on Him, which was very scary. My job here was going to end at the beginning of March, and I had absolutely no idea what was next. Even though a couple opportunities of things to simply apply for came up, God told me to wait. While I second-guessed that and had a couple of late-night phone calls to my mom, the Lord kept calling me back to what I knew to be true. And so I waited.

At the end of the month, a job opened up that seemed like a great fit and a great next step. I applied. And instead of worrying, the Lord enabled me to trust Him. Sure, I had a few moments of worry, but the Lord faithfully checked my spirit and I chose joy instead. I learned a lot about prayer and surrender. And a few times when I was tempted to worry, all throughout January, my dear friend Hilary kept reminding me of what the Lord has done in my life over the last year. A year ago, I was hoping to get a job in Pennsylvania. Praise God He had a different plan! I look at the healing in my life over the last six months, and all I can do is rejoice and praise the Lord. I was committed to rejoicing over the job whether I got the position or not because I knew with a deep settling confidence that God is in control and He has a plan for me. I asked Hilary to hold me accountable to that, to rejoicing no matter what. It was such a beautiful thing, over the last two weeks, because I just rested in the Lord. I had a few moments of worry, like I said, but the Lord was quick to remind me to trust instead. I am so thankful that God knows me intimately and is willing to work however He needs to in order to make me new! I am so thankful for the past two years, because following Jesus is so much sweeter. I have tasted hardship and bitterness and despair, but Jesus is worth it.

I am now in this time of great blessing. Because of the ways He works and the plan that He had, the Lord used the events and troubles and sorrows and joys of the last two years to make my walk with Him so much sweeter. I know things about Him and about myself that have prepared me for this moment and for my future, and I am so thankful! I know hard times will come again - heck, they could even come an hour from now - but I am confident in the Lord.

On Friday I found out I got the job. I know my next step, and I am preparing to walk forward in it. I am now making plans to settle in here, at least until God shows me the next step. So I am making living arrangements and planning to get more involved in my church and with my friends. It is very exciting, and sometimes I catch myself thinking, "Is this right? This is too good!" But in the next instant, the Lord reminds me that He answers prayer - and all those dark moments when I was praying for direction and to know His will and to be following His leading so intimately again, He was just saying, "Wait." And though I don't deserve this, all of these blessings are the Lord's reward, in some way, for continuing to follow Him. That seems so strange - that God would reward me for following Him, especially with the ways I stumble along the path - but truly it is just a reminder that God is faithful and He loves me.

This could have not turned out this way - I just as easily could still be waiting, a little scared but determined to rejoice. And I know that I would still be writing the same things. God is faithful. He has directed me to this place, and I am confident in who He is and His plan for me, for all of His people. As I praise God for His blessings right now, I am also thanking Him for all the hard I had to go through, and for the hard that is yet to come. That makes my heart beat a little faster, but at the same time my soul is at peace. As the man tells Jesus in the book of Mark, "I believe! Lord, help my unbelief!" That is where I am walking. I believe, no matter what. God has taught me to trust Him in a new way. No matter what blessings lie ahead - be they easy or hard - I want to follow the Lord. Most of all, give me Jesus.