To Follow

I feel like I write the same thing a lot. But mostly its because God has to remind me of these things over and over again. And I also just want others to know the freedom that is in Jesus.

Satan has used the struggles of the Church to create an image of the church for non-Believers. The things that we as the Body struggle with - sacrifice, suffering, choosing to follow Jesus over ourselves, how to relate the American ideals of health, wealth, and prosperity with the Bible - are apparent. Often we make ways to relate these unrelated things, such as promising ourselves that if we do good then we will be rewarded with the things we want on earth, with an easy life, etc. We create this ideal, and that is what the world sees, and even more, it is often what we as Believers see and think is right.

We have built up this image of what it means to follow to Jesus, and it involves following the rules, praying all the time, reading the Bible every minute, being a good person, etc. We have entrapped ourselves in this completely fake and created path. Good Christians don't struggle with their faith. Good Christians don't doubt. Good Christians don't question God. Good Christians don't fight to find the Truth because they should already know it and it should be simple - follow God. Those are lies  - that is not what it means to follow Jesus.

Following Jesus is hard. I read in Philippians yesterday where it says, "For it has been granted to you on behalf of Christ not only to believe on Him, but also to suffer for Him." Suffering is an integral part of the faith. To me, suffering here means the struggle to follow Jesus. It is the struggle to give up my independence, my wants and desires and supposed needs, my pride and selfishness, and "choose what is better." It is the struggle to follow Him in all things. For some, this means verbal and physical persecution. That is a very real aspect of faith that occurs all over the world, in some places more than other. It is easy for me to say that that part of faith is an honor, because I have not experienced it, but the Bible is very clear that suffering persecution for the sake of Jesus is honorable and reveals God's glory.

In my own life, the "persecution" I face for Jesus is more from myself and Satan. It is the constant internal battle. It is choosing to follow Jesus is every moment, it is turning my back on myself and letting me die over and over again. It is choosing what is better. Our real is our real, and God has us where we are because that is where His glory will be most revealed through us.

Living "the Christian life" is far more complicated and far more simple than we like to think. It is difficult. I constantly wrestle with God as Jacob did - I struggle to follow Him, His will, discern what He wants from me, and figure out how He wants it. I drown in my self, thrusting out my hand, gasping for Jesus to save me. And He reaches out His hand and holds me close and reminds me of the truth. I truly believe that my life is most beautiful to God in this messy, wrestling, fighting, relenting faith. He loves for me to wrestle with Him, with following Him, because that is Him working in me and molding me to become more like Him.

It is hard. It hurts. It is tiring. It requires sacrifice. It requires denying myself. It requires coming to terms with very difficult ideas - those of my culture and those of my God. It requires constant reminding from God. But those moments show that I am being made new. My faith is not easy. But that is the point - I cannot do it, but He does it through and in me. And in that lies my freedom.