Understood

An integral part of people, or at least me, is a desire to be seen, to be known, to be understood. I think that, to me, means more than anything - being understood. There is something about having that communion with someone, being completely understood, relishing that moment of sweet connectedness and communication. That moment when I am truly known, when I am truly seen.

A lot of times in this struggle called Christianity, I think I am alone. So much of following the Lord involves inner struggle, and trying to explain only does so much. I can use all the words in the dictionary and still not have that moment of understood with someone. But I was thinking today and I realized that what I have said before is true: The wrestling of Christianity is when God is most evidently shaping me to be like Him. Which means that those times of wrestling, those moments of struggle, are the times when I am also intimately understood by Him. After all, He sees my old self in all of her depravity, her selfishness, her pride, her woundedness, her defensiveness. Yet He also sees the new self He is creating in me. He sees and more than that, He understands the conquering that He must do in me. Not only does He see and understand, but He rejoices in that. I just picture God working on me, grinning and laughing with pure joy over what He is doing, that I am His. He sees, and He understands, and that moment of sweet relief, of connection, of communion is more than present, because He is there too.

So yes, following Jesus is difficult. But I am never alone. And even more than that, I am understood.